My Day with Kate Hopper

(From my intern blog, Curious Confessions of a Cleis Press Intern)

Phew!  The last few weeks went by in such a blur that I only just collected my thoughts about it (some of the fog may have had to do with the impending cold that hit a day later).

Wednesday morning before the Twitter party I did some last minute inviting on Twitter, Facebook, and my own blogs. When I logged onto the Viva Twitter account around 1pm to start making some noise for the event, I was super elated to see that someone had seen my WordPress blog post on my personal blog and sent the info to a women’s networking and event website, which had  posted to Twitter! Of course I shared the tweet around. It’s so exciting to see that people actually read my blog and did something about it!

Kate Hopper came into the office right before 2pm, and we settled down right away and got tweeting! At first, there was over a ten minute delay. A little discouraging. Then the questions started coming through and Kate was typing away. We discussed why the terms “mommy blogger” and “momoir” are offensive and devaluing to mothers who write, and how men who write about parenthood are somehow more credible and commendable in the literary world than women, even though statistically speaking it’s still women who do a large share of the parenting in the United States.

After the intensity of the Twittering (Tweeting?) we all decompressed with some delicious cupcakes. YUM! And we got to meet Kate’s kids and spouse. The girls were absolutely darling, and I love the supportive family dynamic Kate has going on.

Then I just had to wait until it was time to leave for the Mommies Playdate at Good Vibes (Polk Street). Mass package shippings are perfect for a fuzzy brain, let me tell you…except the part where I kept forgetting to include the catalog.

I tagged along to San Francisco with Kat Sanborn–I had to carry the box of Use Your Words books, of course–where we enjoyed mediterranean appetizers and a glass of good wine at Dunya Mediterranean as part of the Happy Hour before the event. We were joined by Carol Queen (the other presenter), Camilla Lombard (GV Media Coordinator), Kate Hopper, and some others. We shared a deal between 3 people and got the Mezze Platter (falafel, sigara boregi, ezme, hummus, dolma, eggplant salad, haydari, piyaz) and a bottle of wine for $30. Food was incredible, wine was tasty, and the atmosphere was comfortable–definitely taking a date here!

At Good Vibes there were even more decadent treats to enjoy (huge red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting? fresh ripe strawberries?! cookies?!! heaven) and a tour of the store and sex toy history by an enthusiastic Carol Queen. The Polk Street location is home to the Antique Vibrator Musuem…very small room but a nice collection of historic models, some of which were featured in the romantic comedy Hysteria, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal.

It’s strange, but I think a lot of people don’t like to put moms and sex in the same context–even though sex is what made them moms in the first place! It’s like people think “sacred” equals “innocence” so in order for motherhood to be considered sacred the mother has to be removed from all indecent ideas. Way-to-go, sex-negative culture!

Despite this, Kate found an excellent way to segue and I loved listening to her talk. She’s a very sweet, sometimes bubbly person, and her sincerity is clear when she talks about motherhood and writing. She started off by sharing her own story of motherhood: how none of the parenting resources prepared her for having a premie, how no one, no even other mothers usually talked about the darker parts of motherhood, and how she found solace and a creative outlet in blogging about her experiences. She read a few excerpts from the book of her own writing–I was impressed by the distinctness in her style, the way her sincerity carried throughout her written voice as well. I was also impressed when she shared some writing tips and broke down some of her favorite tropes to use.

But why should I repeatedly impressed and surprised? I think even I had to let go of some predisposition to think of her as a mother first, and a writer second. Kate Hopper excels at both jobs, and yet she and many other writers who happen to be mothers and write about motherhood have to fight against discrediting terms like “mommy blogger” and “momoir.” After this day with Kate, I will definitely take her writing seriously.
You can read Kate’s own account of the day here, and visit her website at www.katehopper.com.Thanks Kate Hopper and everyone else who I shared this day with! It was incredible fun.

You can buy her book Use Your Words: A Writing Guide for Mothers on Cleis Press and on Amazon.

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